Having a baby is harder than everyone thinks it to be. You have to prepare yourself for everyone else's reactions, not just your spouse's. My heart has broken a couple times at the reactions that I have received from others, some good, some bad. But I have come to realize that no matter what anyone says or does, this is my child and they cannot take her/him away from me.
Its been almost two weeks since I last posted and in those two weeks I have been torn down and built back up numerous times. If any of my friends from my childhood were to say how they thought I was taking it they would probably say one of two things. Either that I told everyone to go find a very tall cliff to jump from without any supports or that I curled into a ball and cried. Well I can say that I have done both. But there are changes being made not just to me physically but emotionally as well. No more staying quiet because that is what I should do. No more telling people off at the snap of a hand. I have come to realize that patience is indeed a virtue and that it is one that I have very little off. (I can imagine my family reading this and chuckling for they know it's true).
I can only grow from this experience. Whether I take it all in stride or become emotionally damaged by it all is only for me to decide. My advice to everyone out there is to remember that no matter who you are speaking to, if there are more than one persons in the situation then you affect them all. Watch what you say to one because it is likely to get to the other without you knowing it. Words hurt more than you know. You may not realize it but they do. And just because someone is all puffed up in the chest and standing like a brick wall doesn't mean that you aren't the chisel that would crack that wall.
I am so blessed to have a family that accepts me for who I am and understand that I want to do what I want to do. Nothing has gotten me through this more than they have. Love is the strongest thing on this earth. Maybe if we all opened our hearts a little more then the world would be a better place for our children. Some say love is magic, and I must agree with them. When you look into the eyes of someone you love there is a magic there that is like no other . You cannot change how you feel just because they have done some thing wrong. Your heart knows better than your brain who should be in your life. I just started listening to mine. I hope everyone else starts to listen too.